read what i read

French Ladies don't know squat

Vanessa Paradis may veer towards existentialist glamour, but aren’t you fed up with the praise heaped on her countrywomen?

* Frenchwomen are so fabulous that they can smoke loads of Gitanes without getting bad breath or brown teeth.
* Frenchwomen can eat croissants without getting crumbs on their cashmere cardigan, or worrying about cholesterol, or becoming hideously obese.
* Frenchwomen always take off one accessory before leaving the house.
* Frenchwomen understand how to keep their men happy in special, secret Frenchy ways, which sometimes involve black lingerie.
* Frenchwomen can tie an Hermès scarf on their heads and not end up looking Kurdish (not that there’s anything wrong with looking Kurdish).
* Frenchwomen put lavender in their panty drawers.
* Frenchwomen are so bloody perfect and superior, it’s annoying.
* Frenchwomen are full of chic!